My Own Personal National Holiday

I've officially re-defined what is "old" - see, I'm not old, so it can't be my former definition of "old", which includes my age as of right now.

Happy Day!

Memorandum to Bill Nelson (D-FL)

MEMORANDUM

To: Senator Nelson (D-FL)
CC: Senators Akaka (HI), Baucus (MT), Bingaman (NM), Byrd (WV), Cantwell (WA), Carper (DE), Dorgan (ND), Inouye (HI), Johnson (SD), Kohl (WI), Landrieu (LA), Lieberman (CT), Lincoln (AR), Nelson (NE), Pryor (AR), Rockefeller (WV), Salazar (CO)
Date: January 31, 2006
Re: Kiss My Ass!

Thanks for my lovely birthday present. I really do appreciate knowing that my rights don't matter. I realize I've never been a big contributor of yours. I'm not a large corporation. I don't have a lot of money. At the same time, I'm one of your constituents. You'd think that standing up for my rights would be important to you.

Obviously not. Just don't look for any checks from me anytime soon. Trust me, were the margins not razor-thin and the likelihood of the Dems taking back the Senate better than expected, I'd have a damn hard time voting for your sorry self in Novmber. As it stands now, I'm voting AGAINST Cruella Harris, and NOT for you. There's a difference.

So good luck. You've managed to tick off a large number of Democrats today.

Should we be concerned?

A couple of weeks ago, I picked up Miss Baby, and I received another child's daily sheet. This other child's name begins and ends with the same letters as Miss Baby's name, so I didn't worry too much. Last week, it happened again - except it was for a different child whose name begins and ends with the same letters as Miss Baby's name. Yeah, there are three little girls in Miss Baby's class at the Baby School with names that begin with the same letter as hers, and end with the same letter as hers.

I haven't thought too much about them screwing up the daily log sheets up until this point. About an hour ago, I got a call from the Baby School stating that Miss Baby was throwing up and had a 101.5 degree fever. They've had to change her clothes and she just feels so badly.

Holly hell. I have a major presentation at 1:30 - I can't miss it. Mr. Mac agreed to go get Miss Baby and keep her at home for the day, and he'd work from there. So he leaves his office, which is about 10 miles from the Baby School. He treks up there. He goes in to get Miss Baby, who is VERY happily playing away. In the outfit we put her in this morning. Not sick - AT ALL.

He asks the teacher why she had us called to pick up Miss Baby, since she didn't look at all ill to him. She then realized that she had the WRONG parents called! It was one of the other girls with the same first letter/last letter name.

So they had to call this other baby's mom now. And that baby had been sitting at the school, sick, for a good hour by this point.

My thoughts: (1) Clearly, they do not know my child's name; OR, they may know my child's name, they don't pay enough attention to figure out which stuff belongs to my child and the name (exact name) of the child who's sick. (2) The staff at the front desk don't take the time to ensure they are calling the right parent to pick up a sick kid. (3) Miss Baby (and her friend who's 4 days older than Miss Baby) are not very fond of the primary caretaker in the room. You know, the one who can't figure out Miss Baby's name. Are they calling her by the wrong name? Are they calling her by any name at all? What the deuce is going on there?

Needless to say, I'm having a Big. Long. Talk. with the Baby School Director on my lunch hour tomorrow. I've already scheduled it. I'm hopping in the sexy minivan and treking the 10 miles to the Baby School (in Tampa traffic!) to sit and talk to her as long as I need to talk to her to figure out what to do with my child. And then coming back to work.

I called a couple of daycare centers in the area. There is no room. We will only be here for another few months. That said, a few months in an environment where the people don't even know her name could be bad - really bad - for Miss Baby. It's not fair to her.

What to do. I'm so torn because I just can't bear that she's not getting the kind of care to which she was accustomed. They took AMAZING care of her as an infant, and I can't understand why this doesn't translate into the same level of care for a toddler. She's so sweet and caring, and to not even learn her name just galls me.

Ah well - we'll see how my talk with Ms Head of Baby School goes tomorrow.

Money, Money, Money

My sister was at the farm this weekend. She has bought her daughter a wonderfully beautiful dress for Easter, and she thinks I should get Miss Baby one to match. We're all going to the farm for Easter.

These dresses are beautiful "heirloom quality" items. The one bought for my niece retails for over $200. The one recommended for my daughter is over $119 (before tax). I can't live like this. I'm sorry, I absolutely have no problem spending money on something that is necessary. I will drop $50 or $60 on an outfit for either of my kids - especially something they'll wear weekly until it's too small (I've found the higher quality clothes don't wear out as readily). I don't mind doing that. But, honestly, Miss M's wardrbe hails from Old Navy and Target on the whole. And it's a fine wardrobe. And Miss Baby will probably have a lot of the same.

But $120 on a dress she'll wear once?

Of course, there's the argument she'll wear it to church every weekend. All well and good, but this is not the sort of thing that is worn to my church. Kids there are dressed cute, but the only time you see 3-digit outfits on them is when they're being baptized.

It's just not my way.

I don't think it's a matter of having vs. not having money. I've NEVER been one to go out and spend tons of money on things. I shop at Talbots. On sale. My sister shops at Banana Republic when she's slumming. Seriously. I watched her buy a pair of $200+ jeans. My newest pair of jeans were $23 (on sale) with shipping and tax.

And now, I'm completely in tears because my baby isn't going to get the same thing as her cousin. And it's not the first time, nor is it anywhere near the last time.

I think that part of the reason I'm in tears is that I feel like this sort of spending is expected from me. That it's assumed that I can afford stuff like this on a regular basis. And I just can't. I've just spent over $500 on plane tickets for us to go see various and sundry family over the coming months. $300 was on my ticket to Atlanta.

I'm about to sell my house for a tidy profit well into 6-figures. We've lived there almost exactly 4 years. So it's not like I'm destitute and scraping the bottom of the barrell.

BUT - my husband is going back to school. My employment future is uncertain. As is my housing situation. Pretty much everything I have is up in the air. And so my sister tries to talk my mom into talking me into buying my child a $120 dress.

I think that's the problem actually - it's not so much that this stuff exists, or even that my sister buys it for her child. It's that I'm expected - almost coerced - into going along. Neither Rob nor I have any sort of trust fund like my sister's husband or their Buckhead friends. I can't afford to hire a nanny for Susanna. And you know - that's okay, too. But I am somehow made to feel cheap when I don't go along with these plans.

Anyway, this rambles. Largely because I'm very upset right now. Maybe I'll edit later, but right now, I have a job to do. And a house to try and sell. And two kids to raise. And a husband to get into school.

And myself to take care of. And it's my birthday tomorrow.

It can't be this easy, can it?

Tomorrow afternoon, we have a potential buyer coming to look at our house. This is a person who has already flipped one house in our neighborhood. I don't have a problem with someone paying us a fair price for our house only to upgrade it an flip it. Frankly, we could do the same, but the hassle involved and the up-front investment isn't really something we can handle. I don't think we'd improve our price by as much as we'd have to spend... And I repeat, the hassle involved with two working folks, a toddler and an 8 year old who lives 20 miles away.

So, the buyer is coming. I'm finishing cleaning. If he offers me at least the same $/square foot he paid for the house across the street, I'm very seriously done.

It won't be that easy, I'm sure. But it sure would be nice to have that out of the way.

The Divine Miss M

Miss M is my stepdaughter. I really can't sing her praises enough - I mean that in the positive sense. She's a wonderful, loving, caring, smart, funny, helpful, considerate, sweet, fabulous little girl. She's the greatest big sister to Miss Baby. Ever. Miss Baby loves her dearly.

So why this post? Well, if you've read this blog very much, then you know that Mr. Mac and I intend to move this summer. Away from here. Far, far away from here.

This move will be for the best in a lot of ways. It will get me out of a place which I hate and to which I'm allergic. It will get us all closer to our family. It will put Mr. Mac into a good position with regard to Law School (Mercer with money is a good place - and that's our worst-case scenario).

But it puts us MUCH farther away from Miss M.

Mr. Mac met with the ex last night to discuss the visitation changes. She's definitely done her homework, and she proposes that we take Miss M one weekend per month, at our choosing, during the school year. What this means is that we have Miss M with us for all the long breaks away from school, including Thanksgiving and Spring Break. We would also have her from Christmas Day to Jan. 2. Then we'd have her for "a long time" in the summer. Courts in our area generally give an out of state parent 85% of the summer, with monthly visitation during the school year. Therefore, I think it's safe to say we'd have her for 8 of her 10 weeks in the summer.

In sum, that means she's with us about 120 days per year. As it stands right now, that's about what we have - 125 days on the average. And we have that whole uninterrupted summer. And we have her for many days at a time - while we're generally not going to be working.

But we can't go pick her up at the drop of a hat when her mom gets called in to work. And we won't be here for Teacher Conferences. We'll have to take trips back to go to her plays and her recital.

Is this right for her? For us? Are we being awful people by going away?

Sigh. I don't know. I leave this decision in Mr. Mac's court. I'm too biased by wanting (needing!) to go home. What to do....

Dear Mr. George Bush,

I recognize that the State of the Union address is a very important speech for you to give. You've probably had people planning your words very carefully. I'd even wager you've been standing in front of a mirror to go over them, to make sure you don't stumble. Heck - you could be one of those people who videotapes yourself before important speeches to watch them in fast forward and see how badly your hand movements are.

But, dude - why did you move it all the way to the end of the month? It's supposed to be on the 3d Tuesday, which by my count, was Jan. 17. You may could have moved it to Jan. 24.

See, Mr. Bush, Jan. 31 is my birthday. I get old on that day, to be quite honest. It's a semi-milestone year for me. I don't want to be spending my energy on my birthday night hatin' on your speech. I don't really care to think about you, your illegal war, your misogynistic (sp?) Supreme Court Nominee who will likely be confirmed that very day (happy birthday to me - now, forfeit all my rights as a woman!), your spying, your corruptness, or even your snarky visage on that day. It's MY day, and I want it to be about ME.

So, can we compromise here? I'll hold off making snarky comments about you on my birthday, if you'll move your speech to another day.

Please?

Sincerely,
DevilMacDawg

Hoops - GO DUKE!

Deron Washington=Punk Thug

Dude - why you gotta be kicking Lee Mechionni in the face? Why? He's a *walk-on* who earned the scholarship. He's not a big superstar. He's a tall, slow guy who can hit an outside shot. And you decide the best thing to do to such a kid is to kick him in the face after he falls out of bounds going for your loose ball? After the game is decided.

Why?

You gave cute boy Lee a bloody nose, even!

I hope the ACC censures D. Washington. The kid should be suspended. Even the NBA stands up against hootie like that.

Why did we expand this conference again? So we could let in the likes of Deron Washington and whiney Seth Greenberg. And let's not even get started with the increase in the level of competition brought in by BC. Sigh.

Wasn't it enough that we had Ga. Tech and F$U? Doesn't Skip Prosser field enough thugs to get us through the season (yes, even though Chris "Crotch Punch" Paul is gone)?

How many more times must I listen to Beaker? And Dan Patrick, the Lizard? Does ESPN realize this makes us TiVo the games and FFW through the talking? And mute the rest?

Ah well, at least Duke is good. Yay!

Delta is still EVIL

I have now used the last of my credits with Delta. I have 40,000 frequent flyer miles that I may just let lapse.

The latest: Last year, we purchased a set of tickets to go see Mr. Mac's dad when he was ill. Unfortunately, Dr. Mac died in July. The tickets we had purchased for our August visit went unused - Mr. Mac had gone overseas for his father's funeral in his home country, and we wanted to wait to go back up to NC.

So I still had these Delta e-ticket credits. I decided I'm going to use them now. See, Mr. Mac and I are going back to see Duke v. UNC on March 4. JJ's last game in Cameron. I'm certain to cry. And, Miss M is going to see her Grandma for part of Spring Break. I could buy those tickets for a total investment of $80 per ticket**, or at least so I thought.

Incidentally, the gentleman at the reissue desk was VERY nice and VERY helpful and VERY apologetic for his company's inanity. I had to deal with the reissue desk because I *could not understand* the person at the call center. Sigh.

I book my and Mr. Mac's tickets easy as pie. They recorded Miss Baby's name and date of birth for the "Infant in Lap" portion of my ticket. Then we booked Miss M's ticket as well. We filled out all the requisite information for her unaccompanied minor status and everything was taken care of on that end. So then, the kind gentleman says "This portion of her fare is $80.20. Now, that doesn't include her Unaccompanied Minor Administrative Fee."

Oh, says I. Okay - how much will that be?

He tells me it's $50. Each way.

Please, people. The only thing you administer when you've got an 8 year old on the flight is her trip up and down the jetway. There is nothing else that you do. I checked. AirTran charges $25. Southwest charges nothing.

Delta wonders why it's in bankruptcy. Customer Service and Customer Satisfaction have fallen to the bottom of the barrell. It's awful! I would not be flying this airline except for the fact that I had $450 worth of e-credits to use up (that's the value of the tickets less the $50/ticket change fee).

Bah. Boo them. Yay discount carriers. I <3 SOUTHWEST.

** I must say that even the $80 per ticket is too much. We bought our original tickets to see my father in law. He died before we could take the trip. The entire family was *out of the country* when we would have taken the trip to visit him. I don't believe we should have had to pay the $50 per ticket change fee. They are such cheap little bastards.

It's all the rage

Now, this claims to be a game played in middle school. I never played it, but I wasn't your typical gal in middle school. Anyway - here are my results (very amusing). I played it stupidly with real-life names and such.

Result:

Your husband's name is [Mr. Mac] and you have 3 children. You're a Doctor who drives to work every day in a Black Minivan. It's truly a wonderful life when you consider the countless romantic nights you have spent with [Mr. Mac} in your shack in Athens, GA.

--

Click here to play MASH on the web.

I gave it a list of names including Mr. Mac's real name and the names of the men in my department. It chose Mr. Mac! And it pegged that I drive a minivan. I'm not so much a doctor, though, but what the hey!

Funny. I gave it the option to select from the following locations:
Athens, GA
Atlanta, GA
Macon, GA
Gainesville, FL
Tallahassee, FL

It chose Athens. This means Mr. Mac is getting into UGA. It's a sign, brought to me by the gods of the internets.

Dear Colleague,

I am writing you to bring it to your attention that you're not always right. And you know what? That's okay. There is nothing wrong with being in a situation where you just don't know. Or even being wrong. And there is no need to try and show your superior knowledge over a particular area all. the. time. No need.

See, you're smart, and you're funny, and you're a nice person. You're even good to hang out with, away from this place. However, your constant need to put yourself in charge and to make yourself the expert is getting tired and old. When it moves into the realm of putting down colleagues for the sake of building yourself up, it becomes insecure.

I try very carefully to ensure we're on the same page. To make sure we share knowledge. However, there is no need to turn down my meeting requests, simply because you wanted to set up the meeting yourself and control the invitations, etc. When you schedule it, at the same time and place as I did after declining the meeting earlier - well, your motives become clear. You have to be in charge. And only you.

We're peers already - we are equals.

I just point out these things to let you know that it's just not necessary. Get along - not everything is a fight. There's no need, and most of us don't have the energy.

Peace out,
DMD

Mysterious....

Today, I received a call from the Baby School. They said that Miss Baby was having bad diarrhea and we needed to come pick her up.

Sigh. AGAIN!

We just had a bout of diarrhea last week, and it was remedied by Sunday. She was even drinking a little milk. She'd been to see Dr. Y yesterday, and he proclaimed her healthy and hale. Skinny (18 lbs 12 oz for her 1st birthday - 29 1/2 inches). But doing "GREAT!"

I mentioned the diarrhea to him, and he said that it was very likely a bug, since it cleared up on its own. He felt it was okay to go ahead with her shots. So good. I guess that's fine.

Now this.

I picked her up from the school, and she was VERY happily munching crackers in a high chair. She was THRILLED Mommy had come to play with her. She grabbed my hand and LED me over to the toys, only to be picked up and carried out of the room. We got home, and I settled her down with her toys at home in our office. I worked and took a conference call, and she played**.

After a while, I thought I'd check her diaper. Nope. No poopies. Just a little damp.

A little while later, the smell hit me, and we had poopage. But it was lossish poop - you know, a little green/brown loose poo in there. But NOT diarrhea, the horrific green/yellow/white bits that look like curdled milk.

I thought back to picking her up at the Baby School. There are 18 kids in her class. The state mandates 1 adult per every 6 kids in a 1-year-old class. I only saw two adults in there today, and it was teeming with kids.

I don't want to say it, but I am beginning to think that the school has pegged me as a candidate to call when they're running low on staff and need to get some kids out of the school. And I think yesterday may well have been one of those days. And it ticks me off so badly.

All's well - NewBoss (who is much nicer than and verymuch NOT the same as the OldBoss) said there was no need to count the time out as "sick" - "You know, this groups obsession with time out of the office is kinda scary, DevilMacDawg. I don't get it." So that's cool. And I had fun time with my little girl.

** On the "play" - I was on my conference call. I took it on my cell. Miss Baby has my old cellphone, which she plays with. So, while I was on the call, she had her cellphone up to her ear, just jabbering away. And she had a piece of paper in front of her which she constantly flipped over. See, I was on this call, flipping through a presentation. HILARIOUS! I **love** her!

Cuteness

I sit here roaming around blogland and the internets at large, listening to Mr. Mac give Miss Baby a bath. One of the cutest things ever! They are so funny!

It makes me happy to see them having fun like this. :)

Happy Birthday Mr. Mac

Man, you're old! Wow - I won't be THAT old for, gee, over a week!

Killin' Time

Old Clint Black song lyric - This killin' time is killin' me. These days, I feel some of what it's about. The song (given it's a country song) is about killin' tmie trying to get over a bad relationship. However, as each day passes and I become more certain of our decision to move away, I start feeling like that's what I'm doing now. Our time in Tampa is, for all intents and purposes, over. We won't be a part of this community come next Hurricane season. But we're still kinda stuck here until a few more pieces fall into place. Pieces over which we have zero control.

We've made as many of our decisions as we can. We have a Plan. Or well, three plans, all of which are pretty much the same. I may have even found a buyer for our house. Holy cow!

So what's the hold-up? Why do I feel like I'm killin' time? Well - each of the three plans involves a move back to Georgia. In Plan A (the most likely scenario), we move to Atlanta and buy a house East of town. In Dekalb county. I'll find a job in Atlanta, and continue working for Da Man to get health insurance and money to pay for our house. In plan two, Rob gets into UGA, and I actually find a job worth having in Athens. We can buy a new (as in built in 2006, to some of our specs on the finishing touches) home in Oconee county. In plan three, Rob doesn't get into UGA or Emory, BUT I find a job in Macon worth having. Again, we can buy a new home in a neighboring county, which will be just fine by me.

But, it would be ridiculous of me to find a job in, say, Macon today, when Rob can likely get in at Athens. And it would be foolish of me to bank on him getting in at Athens, and find a job up there. At the end of the day, he could always commute from either location (in under 90 minutes) to a home in Dekalb county. BUT, it would be *so* *much* *cheaper* for us to live together in the three year stint.

So I wait. On AdComms for two schools. And I wait, wait, wait, wait. And so I'm killin' time until I finally can move on with it all.

And you know what - much like in Mr. Black's song, Killin' Time is one heluva depressing place to be.

Cue the guitar....

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 85% Spider-Man 70% Hulk 65% Robin 62% The Flash 55% Batman 50% Green Lantern 50% Supergirl 45% Superman 40% Wonder Woman 40% Catwoman 35%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...


The funniest thing about this is that on Monday, we had VH1 on the TV for some background music. The "I am Ironman" video came on. Miss Baby was rapt.

S-A-L-E

The most beautiful word in the world. I just bout $621 worth of clothes for $96. Seriously. That's like 85% off. Granted, $50 of the savings was in the form of a gift card (Thanks Dr. H!). Still! I got three pairs of pants, a pair of jeans, two shirts, and a sweater set for freaking $96 from Talbots. I had bonus money, and 10% off cuz it's my birthday month and a giftcard, and everything was on sale. Yay me!

Law School Madness

See, here's the deal. We live in Tampa right now. I hate this place. I really do - between the people, traffic and weather, it's plain horrific. I'm saying this at the BEST weather time of the year, incidentally. When we started down this whole law school journey for my husband, we thought he'd go to Stetson part time and we'd stay in our house and that would be that.

He then took the LSAT and made in the 98.5%-ile. Well, zoiks - maybe we should look at *real* schools. He's been accepted everywhere he applied in Florida, and he has a partial scholarship to Mercer (a low tier 2 school in GA). We are still waiting on UGA, Emory and Ga. State.

The Georgia bias makes sense when you realize I'm from there, and I like there, and I wanna go home (whiney voice required). I wanna go home badly. I haven't taken to Tampa - I have no close friends outside my husband here. Nobody I could call on to go get my kid from daycare if I needed it. I've been here almost 5 years - I've tried to make friends. In GA (Atlanta is the likely locale), I can name more than a handful of people whom I could call. And my mom is just 3 hrs away.

Case in point - on December 6 in the late afternoon (after 4 pm), I was informed that I had to go on a daytrip to DC. If Mr. Mac had been away at school, and I had been here by myself, who would have taken care of Miss Baby? My mom gets in her car and comes here at the last minute? At 60? 6+ hrs on the road? Right.

Also, I may can transfer my employment to Atlanta - my company has a large division there, and I've got good connections inside.

But now we're talking about a FREE RIDE to school. It's what is affectionately known as a "Third Tier Toilet", but it's VERY well-respected here in Tampa. All of the major firms hire kids from there every year.

It's certainly a dilemma. I haven't even thrown in all of the hootie related to my stepdaugter and what we would do to take care of her.

So we sit and kvetch and wait and try to be patient. But it's getting old. Especially this part: "Your application for admission has entered the committee review process. This process usually takes several weeks." Damn you UGA Law School!

Beaker and the Swedish Chef

Hoop fans everywhere appreciate this one: Dick Vitale and the Brent Mussburger = Beaker and the Swedish Chef.

I slay me!

Bonus (sorta)

Our company-wide bonus was announced today. Yay we! As a company we were very productive last year, so much so that we hit a score of 118%. Unfortunately, this translates into a 9.5% bonus (not 18% as I believe it should be!!).

But it's kinda nice to see a little extra cash INflow these days, while I wait on Mr. Mac to get into school so we can begin the even more massive hemmoraging.

Science Fair

Last night was Miss M's school announced the results of her sciece fair. She didn't get a ribbon, and she cried. Poor sweetie.

I wish we could say we did the best we could do with the science fair - we did okay, but not our best. I say "we" because it's Mr. Mac and me involved, as well as Miss M. She has to do a lot of the work, but we have to enable that work, and assist her with it. Frankly, at the ripe age of 8, we have to do a lot of the organization of the boards for her and help her get letters cut out.

At the end of the day, however, Miss M's efforts weren't those of the other kids who had older siblings who've done it in the past. I think I've got a plan for the coming years: do the experiment over the summer and work with her to get it learned, down pat, during the fall - the day to learn the project and understand its results isn't the day before the science fair judging. I also think that we need an experiment that comes with more built-in props than the one we had.

She views herself as a scientist, which as a 3rd grader is admirable. I viewed myself as a farmer at that point in my life (maybe I should've listened to that ambition?). I think Mr. Mac still viewed himself an astronaut. I want to encourage her as much as possible to excel in her chosen field, but we also struggle with getting her to also excel elsewhere. She says she wants to go to Duke, and I think that's a great goal. But, we tell her, getting into Duke starts in Kindergarten - you have to learn HOW to study in order to be a good student in high school. You have to make excellent grades, very high on your tests, and also get people to recommend you to go there. The mere fact that Daddy, Granddad, Auntie H, and I went there will matter very little. It's that hard.

But she says it's what she wants, so we will keep on trying to help her learn the skills it will take to get there. And also try to make sure her goals are on par with what she can expect. Let's shoot for the moon - just making sure it's the right moon for us! :-)

Go Hooooome, Maryland!

We sang this song to the tune of their "Let's gooooooooo, Maryland" after the semis in Atlanta in 2001. I resurrect this in honor of last night.

Take THAT sweaty! Man, this feels GREAT. Them twerps, they do annoy me.

I, unfortunately, missed much of the game last night due to Tuesday night's teething episodes. I was bloody exhausted. I have no clue how Mr. Mac stayed up and watched the whole thing! But he did. I woke up when he came back to bed, and I didn't have to even ask - he was wearing that shit-eating grin he gets. And cackling. He loves this team! And so do I.

One Year Ago

A year ago on Saturday (January 7), I was headed in for my last appointments with my OB before I was due to be induced on Jan. 10. I had to see them for the last sonogram and a last check-up for my health. They were doing all the labs required before I was admitted. See, all this was going to be very routine and easily accomplished.

When I finally saw them that morning, the doctor said he noticed "a few things that needed a more in-depth analysis." When I asked, "Uh, wha? TELL ME NOW NOW NOW!!", he said - well, I'm just not seeing the level of amniotic fluid I'd like. I want you to go on to the hospital for a better scan. Most likely, the fluid has ebbed, and it will return. You haven't noticed any additional discharge, have you?

I told him no - I've been, well, dry as a bone. I seriously doubted that my water had broken.

He said he didn't think so either, but that the lower level of fluid was actually common with babies who were 2 weeks or more post-term.

Which, at this stage, Susanna was. We were due Dec. 27 (that was the latest estimated due date).

Fast forward to the hospital. I just went straight there, because I wanted to get this scan overwith and get back home so I could finish cleaning my house. Since I was being induced on Monday, I had to get everything together for my parents' arrival on Saturday afternoon. I didn't even stop to eat.

When I parked, I went into visitor parking - you know, the one for people who will be there less than 4 hours. I was ever so certain that I'd be leaving in time to stop by Picadilly before starvation set in. This was about 11:00 in the morning.

I got into the triage area, where they put me into a ER-style room with a curtain. I stripped below the waist. Dr. M came in and we spoke about what was going on. He had the tech bring in the ultrasound and we all looked at a big blur on the screen. Apparently everyone else saw thigns - I saw a grey blob blurring about.

He asked the tech to leave, and he pulled closed the sliding glass door. He said, very seriously, "Mrs. Mac, your baby is doing great. She's very healthy and thriving in there today." I smiled, very proud of myself for nurturing a baby healthily beyond term. Then he continued, "I want to induce today. The fact is that you have lost most of the amniotic fluid available. Given that it was very low 2 hours ago, and it's still very low now, it seems that either your water broke, or your body has absorbed most of the fluid. Your baby is very healthy and thriving, and I'd rather the two of you go on through the labor now as opposed to waiting another few days. The situation isn't serious, but it could become so in a matter of hours. I want to admit you now."

I looked at him calmly, and I said, "What about a little later. I need to go home and mop the kitchen flooor and wash my breakfast dishes. I really want to get some lunch too."

He chuckled - "Mrs. Mac, I may need to put this another way - you're not leaving. Call your husband and tell him that we're admitting you now."

Oh.

So I was admitted and the pitocin begun. They finally came to break my water before I had an actual contraction. About this time, Miss M's mother drops her off at the hospital, for Mr. Mac and me to watch (seeing as we had nothing else to do and all that). It was, after all, our weekend, I guess. Sigh.

My parents had left Georgia that afternoon, and they arrived in the hospital room about 10 pm. At this stage, I had been given the epidural and I was in full-out labor. Not too bad, though. But, I wasn't making a ton of progress in the dilation. I was at about 2 cm when I was admitted.

Thankfully, my parents arrived when they did - so that we could get the 7 year old out of the L&D suite, PRONTO! I sent everyone home to get some rest, since the doctor said it would be a while - I had dilated to about 4-5 cm. Mr. Mac, of course, stayed.

My parents got home, and then promptly called the hospital to tell me that the house is a wreck, and they can't believe it's such a wreck. Duh, I said - I kinda got admitted to the hospital before I could finish cleaning.

They got Miss M settled and in bed, and about midnight, Dr. M. came back to check me. He got That Face again. Then he tells me that my cervix had begun CLOSING BACK UP. From the contractions pushing Miss Baby's head against it, it just swelled up and was shutting itself back off. Miss Baby was trapped. He said, as calmly as can be, that they could either do a c-section now, or wait a little longer. Most likely, they would have to do a c-section regardless. I opted for "now".

So off to the OR. My poor parents got The Call a little after midnight (and now they felt guilty for yelling at me about my dirty house). They came back down to the hospital, dropping Miss M off with the neighbors across the street. Apparently, my mother was in complete histerics at this stage.

I have to say that my OR experience is the most surreal, bizarre thing that has ever happened to me. That's saying something, too. I mean, really. To begin it all, they didn't warn me that I would still feel sensations when they put shaving cream on my abdomen to shave it. I flipped out. They tied my hands down. Doctors apparently get to pick the music, and Dr. M. likes bad 70's ballads.

During my c-section, I got to listen to Dr. M and the OR nurses sing a rousing rendition of "Wildfire". It was one of my favorite songs as a kid. Now... I can't hear it any more.

Then It Happened. I heard this SCREAMING. Horrible, loud SCREAMING. However, I still felt kicking up into my belly. Susanna's head had been born, and she let us know, but she wasn't all the way out. Dr. M said - "Well, I guess we know she didn't want to come out - not many start screaming this quickly!" But out she came - all 8 lbs. 10 oz., 20 1/2", of her. Yeah, she was a giant string bean. Still is, for that matter.

I stayed in the hospital the requisite time, and a year ago today, I went home. With Miss Baby. I didn't think I could love her more than I did that day, but I actually do.

Even if she did keep me up with teething screeching all night last night. :)

Happy Birthday Little Girl

Miss Baby is no longer a Baby - she's a Toddler. Happy Birthday little girl - may you always have a pink heart cake to celebrate.

One year ago today

A year ago today, I had my last rounds of doctor's appointments before I was scheduled to be induced on Jan. 11. When I got to the doctor's, they sent me to the hospital for a more in-depth ultrasound. Seems that the amniotic fluid was measuring "a little low", which is fairly normal when the bun's been in the oven almost 42 weeks.

Upon review at the hospital, Dr. M (love him!!) recommended that we go ahead and induce. I could have kissed him square on the mouth at that point.

After 12 hours of labor, and anti-dilation (I went from 2 cm when I was in the doctor's at 11 to 4-5 cm at 10, back to 1-2 cm at 11:30 pm), a c-section was ordered.

At 2:45 am on the 8th, my Miss Baby was here. Screaming before her body was pulled from mine. And life has been forever different.

Baby come back!

Miss Baby comes back today. Along with Miss M. They have spent the last week at the Farm. Next week, it's back to school and all of that for both of them, and I know that Miss M is very sad about it, to say the least.

Actually, she's sad about the whole idea of leaving the farm and her BFF - GH. Miss M and GH have spent almost every day together since we arrived back on Christmas Day, and they are apparently both crying as I type over being separated by 6 hours again. I've explained to Miss M that she has to go back to HER school, but she'd rather stay at the Farm and go to school up there, with GH. When we explain that GH is in Kindergarten while Miss M is in third grade.... well, Miss M isn't really too concerned about that right now either. She just wants to stay.

She tells me that Curtis will miss her when she doesn't come to the store every day (I'm sure he will!). She tells me that she won't be able to check on her calves. Or go read in her cotton-seed pile. Or any of the things she's been doing for two weeks now.

Poor girl.

Miss Baby will certainly miss her days there as well. I'm certain it's been really nice to wake at 6 or so in the morning, and be rescued from the crib and rocked in my dad's warm lap. I know she appreciates it that my parents still feed her baby food. And warm her bottles. And all that. When she returns to the Baby School, she will be in a new room - with the 1 year olds. She's no longer the biggest and strongest; but rather, the smallest.

But it's time. I miss my girls horribly. Mr. Mac and I had a nasty squabble about nothing last night, and I think it's mostly because we both miss the girls so much. I love that they are able to go spend time with my folks, but I do hate having them gone for so long!

So tonight, at 6:30, at the seafood place just about half-way from here to there, I get them back. And I just can't wait!!

So it begins...

I've let the cat out of the bag, at least to those outside my immediate division, that I would be interested in a transfer to Hot-Lanta. My Very Large Company has a great division there, and I'd be interested in working for them.

I'm in the process of setting up a timeline for The Big Move.

Holy Cow - we're actually going to do it. Of course, we still have the "Your application for admission has entered the committee review process. This process usually takes several weeks." response from the UGA Law School Status Checker. Dudes, it's BEEN SEVERAL MONTHS ALREADY. Come ON! But, only if it's positive!!! :)

But, yeah - the decision is made and we're moving to Atlanta or possibly to Athens. I'm so sure Mr. Mac will get into UGA (he scored 8 points higher than their 75% LSAT). I'm also so sure that we will find the right job.

Now I'm scared. Is this right? What to do about Miss M? Are we abandoning her, or just putting her in a better position in the long run?

More later. But it's begun.

On Wednesdays, we whine

At least over at Phantom's, she lets me. So here's my one for today...

Whine: My mother in law has been in my house for two weeks. She's depressed (my FIL died in July). She accompanied us from here to The Farm and The Beach for Christmas and New Years, and proceeded to sleep until noon, and spend hours napping in the afternoon, only to go to bed between 9 and 10. I'm worried about her.

Antiwhine: She leaves today. She's being gathered from the airport by a close friend, and she has promised to go get some help with her depression, which she now acknowledges.

Whine: Mr. Mac still hasn't heard from freaking UGA Law School. Come ON already! Antiwhine: I may be able to pursue my Ph.D. there while he's in school. Or get a cool job at a different division in Atlanta. Smiles all around!

Whine: I have to take a da*n calculus class. Antiwhine: Mr. Mac, the enginerd, can help me pass it this go-around. Maybe.

Antiwhine to top them all: We had a mostly peaceful and safe travel from here to yon, yonder, and thar, and back over the Holiday Break. Miss M and Miss Baby are still on the farm relishing spoiling galore. Miss Baby is walking, and this AM she "talked" to me on the phone. "O! O! Mamamamama.... Tah-dahhhhnnnn" (Hello! Hello! Mama - Touchdown!!!). Happy kids = happy mommy and daddy. I hope this is a sign of things to come this year.

Happy New Year

First, a quiz result:

Sociopath You are 85% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, thus making it easier to kill them. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you! To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Hippie. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig. If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 73% on Rationality You scored higher than 13% on Extroversion You scored higher than 81% on Brutality You scored higher than 81% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

That killed me. Hah! At least I get along with "Smartass" well. I'm sure that's what Mr. Mac would score. Either that, or my other "friend", "Spiteful Loner". Heh.