Money, Money, Money

My sister was at the farm this weekend. She has bought her daughter a wonderfully beautiful dress for Easter, and she thinks I should get Miss Baby one to match. We're all going to the farm for Easter.

These dresses are beautiful "heirloom quality" items. The one bought for my niece retails for over $200. The one recommended for my daughter is over $119 (before tax). I can't live like this. I'm sorry, I absolutely have no problem spending money on something that is necessary. I will drop $50 or $60 on an outfit for either of my kids - especially something they'll wear weekly until it's too small (I've found the higher quality clothes don't wear out as readily). I don't mind doing that. But, honestly, Miss M's wardrbe hails from Old Navy and Target on the whole. And it's a fine wardrobe. And Miss Baby will probably have a lot of the same.

But $120 on a dress she'll wear once?

Of course, there's the argument she'll wear it to church every weekend. All well and good, but this is not the sort of thing that is worn to my church. Kids there are dressed cute, but the only time you see 3-digit outfits on them is when they're being baptized.

It's just not my way.

I don't think it's a matter of having vs. not having money. I've NEVER been one to go out and spend tons of money on things. I shop at Talbots. On sale. My sister shops at Banana Republic when she's slumming. Seriously. I watched her buy a pair of $200+ jeans. My newest pair of jeans were $23 (on sale) with shipping and tax.

And now, I'm completely in tears because my baby isn't going to get the same thing as her cousin. And it's not the first time, nor is it anywhere near the last time.

I think that part of the reason I'm in tears is that I feel like this sort of spending is expected from me. That it's assumed that I can afford stuff like this on a regular basis. And I just can't. I've just spent over $500 on plane tickets for us to go see various and sundry family over the coming months. $300 was on my ticket to Atlanta.

I'm about to sell my house for a tidy profit well into 6-figures. We've lived there almost exactly 4 years. So it's not like I'm destitute and scraping the bottom of the barrell.

BUT - my husband is going back to school. My employment future is uncertain. As is my housing situation. Pretty much everything I have is up in the air. And so my sister tries to talk my mom into talking me into buying my child a $120 dress.

I think that's the problem actually - it's not so much that this stuff exists, or even that my sister buys it for her child. It's that I'm expected - almost coerced - into going along. Neither Rob nor I have any sort of trust fund like my sister's husband or their Buckhead friends. I can't afford to hire a nanny for Susanna. And you know - that's okay, too. But I am somehow made to feel cheap when I don't go along with these plans.

Anyway, this rambles. Largely because I'm very upset right now. Maybe I'll edit later, but right now, I have a job to do. And a house to try and sell. And two kids to raise. And a husband to get into school.

And myself to take care of. And it's my birthday tomorrow.