Things I'm going to, um, 'miss' about this place

This may be a regular feature for a bit. Today's entry (and the reason for this post) - Mr. Flatulence and Phlegm. Mr. F&Ph can let rip the most impressive of toots. The volume is unreal - windows can be shaken. The tonal range is impressive, from bass that rumbles the floor to a high treble that pierces. And let's not forget the longevity. He's been clocked at 30 seconds on several occasions. The record stands at 52 seconds, though there is some disagreement over whether it was one sustained effort, or there were several mini-farts in one short span.

Then to the phlegm. The snorting, the snuffling... and the hocking of loogeys.

It would make any 12 year old boy proud. But to most of us (well over 35) here, it's just plain embarrassing. However, we have taken it in stride, pinging one another with 'ratings' (1 to 10). Earlier today, we had a consensus 8.5+ echo through the area. I personally awarded a 9.5, but I'm often accused of being the "Paula" in our judging triumvirate.

How do you deal with this type of issue? He doesn't work for me, and his supervisor (who also does not work for me, but also works for my boss) is well aware of the issue and says "It's a personal matter that we can't really control."

Tomorrow on "TIGT, um, MATP": My staff, including the "Analyst" who doesn't know how to use Excel. Stay tuned folks. More coming from the funny farm!