Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Holding Pattern

I'm an impatient person. Horribly so. I'm one of those people who can hem and haw over dinner, but when it comes to important decisions, I make them and move. I do this in my job, as well. I asses, decide, and move in accordance with that decision.

So, now, I'm stuck in a holding pattern. Mr. Mac and I have sold our house. We have decided we're moving. We've begun working toward that end. 'Cept it won't happen for another few months still. Which is highly annoying. I didn't realize the extent to which I would completely disengage from my work here once I decided I would not be working here much longer.

I'm ready to go. To be done. To get on with it. But I'm stuck here. Circling, as it were. I feel like I'm stuck in a circle above the airport at the end of a Transatlantic flight, really. My legs are numb from sitting with my knees at my nose, heels at my rear. I've read the magazine, thumbed through the Sky Mall, and done every crossword I can find. But I'm still not where I'm due to be.

Patience. It's supposedly a virtue. I see it as a coping mechanism I must somehow develop. I'm playing phone tag with a contact about a job prospect. We're still waiting on schools to decide so we can finalize where Rob will be. Everything is just on hold.

Except my mind, which is racing ahead at a million miles an hour.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Girls Weekend!

I leave today to go to Atlanta to spend the weekend with my mom and my sister. Tomorrow morning, I have an initial round of interviews with a company I'm hoping to work for. After that, the three of us pile into the Navigator Pimp Mobile and head out for Birmingham along with other mom/daughter groups from my hometown. We'll be attending a Beth Moore conference over in Birmingham, and I'm a tad nervous about that. She has good insights, but she's politically misguided (falling into the Dobson camp of Christians), so I hope it's more about Women and God and less about Loving Amurrka.

Anyway, after all this conferencing is over, we're supposed to head back to our home churches for Sunday services. However, my mom, sister and I have decided that we will, instead, head to our home malls for Saturday AND Sunday services. Lenox and Phipps are on the radar. As are the cute Buckhead shops with overpriced stuff for babygirls and such.

I can't live this lifestyle on a regular basis, but I certainly can indulge every so often. I hope that once I get moved there, we can really work on having this type of event (well, maybe more just hanging out being girls) more regularly.

This move is going to be so good for me - to get me back in with my family that I fled those many years ago. They've changed, as have I - I think we're meeting in the middle to a large extent. My mom has become so much less critical; I've become less sensitive; my sister has become so much less superficial; all three of us have become less judgmental. I think it's all good.

And oh - the girls - the little girls. They're being left behind this weekend, but I'm envisioning that this status won't be for long. Them will be two rotten little girlies, I tell ya. Rotten like all girls should be! :-)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Morally reprehensible

Where do these guys get off.

I hate - HATE - that I'm going to have to raise my daughter in a country where her health and well-being are not first and foremost.

Morally reprehensible

Where do these guys get off.

I hate - HATE - that I'm going to have to raise my daughter in a country where her health and well-being are not first and foremost.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today is my daddy's birthday. What a GREAT day! Funny thing is that one of his favorite things is a Cherry Pie - wonder if it's because he shares the birthday with George Washington.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Work is a challenge

In the last day and a half (I only worked 1/2-day yesterday), I've almost packed up and walked out of this place four separate times. I've just had it.

The needless, and created, conflicts are getting me down.

I have a sunshine drawn on a small piece of yellow sticky note paper. I had it stuck on my calendar on July 31. Now, it sits on May 31.

This place is nuts. Insane. I can't get over how bizarre the behaviors are here. And it's starting to make me crazy, I think. Or maybe that's just "business savvy" or "corporate politics" or something.

And I'm just starting to loose it.

Monday, February 20, 2006

On the road again...

Beginning with last weekend, either my husband or I or both of us will be away from home 5 of the next 6 weekes for a variety of things. We took Miss Baby to see my dad for his birthday. I'm going on a trip with my mom and sister this weekend. We're going to see Duke host unc in Cameron. Mr. Mac has his big scholarship interviews over "ACC Tournament Weekend". We stay home for one, but then we're off again to the NCAA Regionals in ATL if Duke plays there.

Whirls. Somehow I think it will be better after we move. At least when we go to the farm, it's only a 3 hour drive rather than 6.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Homeless, Part II

Phantom left me a cautiously congratulatory comment in my last post about being homeless.

In case I didn't make myself clear, I'm very glad that we sold the house. When I think about the nightmares associated with moving house, selling the old homestead is up near the top. Being forced to continue to own and maintain a property where you no longer live is at the top of my list of Things I do not Wish To Do. Bridge loans, all that stuff - I don't want to play that game. In the scenario we've worked out, we will have the capital required to buy our next home in plenty of time to take care of that. We'll have plenty of time to look. At the end of the day, one of the more difficult elements to moving has already resolved itself.

So why am I still trying to sell myself on this being a good idea? It's simple really. I *love* my house and my neighborhood. I know, beyond any doubt, that I cannot possibly expect to have nearly so nice of a place anytime in the near future. My house is 3,000 squre feet with a giant den and playing area. It has a fabulous porch with a nice pool. It sits on 2/3 acre with lots of trees and green space all around. It's wonderful. My neighbors are very nice people - very private just like us, but nice nonetheless. They all live in our neighborhood because of the quiet and privacy it affords them.

On top of that, Mr. Mac and I got an asbolute STEAL on this house when we bought it, but it needed a lot of work, most of which we did ourselves. So the home has a little bit of us both in it. In the case of the new mailbox we constructed, it LITERALLY has a little bit of my fingertips in it.

So, it's hard to leave, even though it's what I want to do. The theme of 2005 was loss, and the theme of 2006 seems to be opportunity. Rob has a great opportunity in front of him with his school. I seem to have a good one taking form for me professionally with my company.

But, there is a certain "bittersweet" quality about it all. I'm sad to be leaving Tampa in some ways. This morning was our coldest so far this winter - a chilly 30 degrees. Yikes! We had a frost! January through March is a nice time here, but it's not really winter, you know? Come September/October, though, I won't miss the hurricanes or the absence fo fall. I'll miss a lot of things, but sadly, not a lot of people. I still don't have many friends here.

Still, this was my first "home" - the first place I truly owned. For the silly attachment I have to things such as land and home, I am a little sad. At the end of the day, the opportunity is being put before us and we have to take it. There's really no choice. And for that, I'm excited.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Homeless

Mr. Mac and I sold our house. We close at the end of March, but we have a lease good through the end of July. Yikes.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Muppet Mania

As seen at a few different places:

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!


Of course.

How silly, really. As if there was any question how this would turn out for me. Even more sadly, I'd wager Mr. Mac is Kermit.

We're so dull!

Make my day

I just had a colleague tell me that he thinks I'm super smart and a real asset to our team.

I'm so happy. :-)

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Pardon the Sports Post

Any of you who've read this site for, well, a post or so know that I'm a Duke fan. I'm a Duke alumna. A Cameron Crazy^1.

Oh, and I know my stuff about the game and about Duke basketball, and ACC history in general, at least since the mid 80's. My husband is a freaking encyclopedia.

So last night, I took some coffee, and I ate fried food, and I did everything within my power to make myself stay up to watch a game that didn't start until the unnatural hour of 9 p.m. (which means it lasts until 11:30). I was determined, and largely successful in my quest to see The Whole Thing (thanks to Miss Baby who woke to lay in bed beside me for the second half).

As I was watching, I giggled to remember the common Carowhina Whine - The Cameron Crazies are such nerds with their jumping up and down, and painting of themselves, and such nonsense. While I watch the Dean Dorks (yeah) PIPE in "Jump Around" so they have music for jumping, with their bodies painted and badblue hair being puffed.

I think about their complaint that Duke hangs banners for being the #1 team in the land, regardless of the NCAA outcome. While I review the picture of DeadDome rafters, of the banners hanging. The "Third Place NIT" banner in all its glory. And the MADE UP 1924 national championship they insist on having. To quote a (non-ACC) friend - "Why does it look like their dryers broke while they were washing the sheets? Do they honor every game they win, and everyone who looked at a uniform?"

Today, the "in" thing to talk about in college basketball land is how Duke gets all the calls. How they make more foul shots than the other team attempts or some such Gary Williams/Seth Greenberg/Paul Hewitt (and other bitter coaches) made up bunkety stat. See, folks, when your GAME PLAN is to go physical against your opponent, you WILL get called for a TON of fouls.

And, the discrepancy, isn't what folks might think. I'll let a more eloquent and educated person address the point. But, at the end of the day, Duke's getting the calls it deserves, because the boys are playing SMART basketball and doing the things that are required to win the game. End of story - good players know how to make the pass, grab the rebound, make the shot, and (here it comes) get the foul calls they need. And good coaches know that learning how to get fouled is something that you can teach players.

Last I checked, Mike Krzyzewski is a good coach.

So what happened last night? Well, Shelden Williams (Duke's "center"), carried a UNC player around on his back for a good 35 minutes of basketball. The main rests he got were when he was sitting down or when he was shooting foul shots. JJ Redick had to get literally slapped in the face before a foul was called on the player guarding him. Duke most certainly didn't get all the calls last night.

However, a truly GREAT thing did happen. We won. And we won despite the horrible officiating. And the noxious crowd.

The players ABSOLUTELY got frustrated. And they were bloody exhausted. K, however, somehow pulled it out of them to get it together for the last minute. Mental errors were made, and we blew a 17 point lead. I think that had as much to do, however, with frustration and exhaustion as anything. Poorly executed plays and bad passes don't happen when your team is fresh and well-rested.^2

At the end of the night, however, we won. And we won with character and grace.

And all is right with the world for now. GO DUKE!

1. 'cept in my day, we were *so* much better and we didn't paint all over ourselves - we just made Shaq cry! One-Two-Three-Four! Shaq can't play this game no more! Godo times, I tell ya. Good times.

2. Whoever decided the ACC needs to play on four nights per week should be taken out and shot. Duke played on Wednesday at 9 pm (at Boston College - IN Boston), then noon Saturday (vs. Florida State) and then 9 pm last night. 3 games - TOUGH games - in under a week. This needs to change folks. Games are TOO close together, and they start TOO LATE. It's insane now.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

GTHC!

Punks.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Funk

I'm in one. I don't really know what's wrong. It's just that time of year, or maybe that time of month, or just a bad period right now. I'm sad - I cry at nothing. I'm tired. I'm bitchy. I have no patience for anyone except my daughter. It's not that I want off the train right now - I just need a map of where it's headed.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Rainy Days

First, I love rainy days. Just not too many in a row. And not when I need to be productive.

One of the, er, "perks" of my title is that I get a window. Yay me. I always can look and see what the weather's like. In the summer, it's kinda cool, because I can watch storms coming in off the gulf and across the bay.

We've had illnesses infecting the masses around here lately, as well. Today, there are five people in my work group of 15 our. I am down two staff out of my crew of 6. My boss is also out.

Today, it's raining that wintry cats-and-dogs rain.

So, who's to stop me from leaving this place, hopping into the sexy minivan, and going home. To my couch. With a blanket. And a book. With the child at daycare. All by myself.

A rainy afternoon to myself with a good book and a blanket sounds like something higher than heaven right now.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Holy CRAP!

It's only 10:45 in the morning. I feel like I've been in this office for a good 10 hours. I still can't believe this.

I was on the phone with my coworker. She had another call come through, so she took it. Then I heard what I thought was her laughing. Then, one of my staff calls me to come over there - my colleague is freaking out.

Huh?

So I go over and she's in hysterics. I get her pulled away from the public area into a private room. She finally gasps out what happened.

Her son, who's 21, has a daughter with a girl who's 19. They are not together. This girl works at a club called "Calendar Girls." I think you can infer the type establishment. Last night, some freak pulled a gun in the parking lot, and murdered this girl. Right there in the parking lot. Shot her in the neck.

I swear, it's straight out of Law & Order.

I've spent the morning on the phone with various Sheriff's offices. I've talked to any number of this woman's relatives. My biggest concern right now is that she and her son were in the process of getting his name onto the baby's birth certificate. They just got the results of the paternity test back, and he's the father. I've been pushing her to get with an attorney and get visitation and custody worked out.

Now she has to get everything worked out.

And deal with raising a granddaughter (who's almost 1) who will never know her mother. Yeah, my friend will raise this girl.

It's really surreal to me that this has happened, and I'm connected to it.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Not having a great day

My neck hurts horribly. I slept wrong, and now it's sore and stuff and hurting. Did I mention I'm in pain? I'm gobbling down painkillers at an alarming rate. Wah!

More later. Mr. Mac has Big Democratic Poltickin' Bidness over in Pinellas tonight, so Miss Baby and I are solo. She's already broken a margarita glass today..... maybe I should take her hint and give her one? Nah! But we'll have fun, us two sillies. :)