Hope

I've always considered myself optimistic. I see the glass not only as half-full, but also as one waiting to be mixed with something to make a full glass of something even more wonderful. This outlook has helped me through some horrific situations in my past, where there really and truly was no hope. That, combined with my complete lack of pride, landed me my first job at AOL. I took that job and parlayed it into a 7-year career, moving through divisions of the big parent company, and landing in my most recent position. I always assumed that when I went 'home', I could find a job with Turner, no questions asked - my reputation spoke for itself.

Well, that didn't turn out so well did it? So now I step back and begin the whole 'job search' process over again. Anytime you go through this process, it's one where the overwhelming majority of responses are, at best, negative. Frankly, hearing nothing at all is quite common. I must say that it's certainly defeating if you think about it - I'd say that you get, at best, a 5% return on serious applications, where you get the interview. Not that I know, 'cuz right now I'm lookign at a 0% return. But I read that 5% number somewhere.

That's daunting. And depressing. And, well, humbling.

I broke down completely yesterday. On Tuesday, I received a rejection letter for a job that I really, really wanted, and for which I was pretty well qualified. Seems they found someone moreso qualified than me (and who probably didn't go to Duke*). I cried for my mommy and my daddy, and I came home and fixed myself a bowl of chili and some cornbread. Total comfort food. And I cried some more, then I ate a little of it. I IM-ed with Mr. Mac about the ongoing deliberation - should I take the Ga. Bar next JulyDo I really want to go down the road of being an attorney? I'm waffling on the issue right now - in a lot of ways, it's probably a good decision for me. But the thought of actually doing it makes my teeth hurt.

Then the phone rang. It was the Exec. Director of External Affairs at the Business School at my husband's university. They're hiring someone to do their corporate relations. We chatted about the job and discussed the salary (or lack thereof) question. Can I come in Tuesday to talk more? Um yeah, I'll see if I can fit you in. I swear, the job description for this position sounds like "Director of Happiness and Good Will". My main job function will ultimately boil down to making people happy. Wow. And planing parties. Double wow! So I got that one lined up.

And then, not more than 10 minutes after I got off the home, I received a call from the HQ's of a big-box retailer in the area. They want me to come in too, to talk about a position that sounds really neat - it's up my alley and pays pretty well.

Could it be that I have a decision to make? Is that, at all, possible? Wow. Even if not, it's bringing my 'interview count' up to 11 - so I'm looking at getting closer to the 20 I need for my 5% return!

So I'm hopeful again. Very much so. I just know all this will come together soon. I moved here for the right reasons. I see myself as a good person overall. I genuinely believe that good comes back to to those who put it out into the world. So I'm hopeful.

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* The job I wanted as a great position in my field. Only problem - the interview started with a very sneering "Oh, I see you went to Duke. I'll try not to hold that against you." I looked behind the guy, and there was his Kentucky diploma on the wall. Those of you who are not college hoops fans don't understand the irrational hatered Kentucky Nation has for Duke - it dates back to 1992 in earnest, and The Shot, etc. Anyway, at that moment, I knew that I would have a hard time getting the position - for someone to bring it up as he did.... It's a thing with him, I guess. But, dude, it was almost 15 years ago. UK beat Duke in 1998, and I'd say that evened it out. Sighs.