Happy Day

[warning... sappiness to follow]

Mr. Mac,

It's been wonderful. Thank you for such a wonderful time. Thank you for finally taking me home. And thank you for, well, just Thank You. Four more years? I think not. How about forty fourtinfinity. :) I love you.

ABC Meme

Seen everywhere. I'm such a sheep.

Accent: Southern.
Booze: Nice heavy, tannic reds especially Cotes du Rhone and Provencale blends; lager; New Zealand Sauv. Blanc; ales.... Beer and Wine - I don't drink a whole lot of liquor any more.
Chore I Hate: All. Right now, the chore I hate most is packing to move. I'm also fairly averse to laundry, cleaning the litter box, the floors, bathrooms... You name it, I hate it, with the noted exception of cooking, which I love.
Dog or Cat: Two cats, Bo and Luke, who live on the porch due to my horrific allergies and disdain for kitty pee pee on the carpet.
Essential Electronics: Coffee maker, toaster oven (I have kids), computer, TiVo.
Favorite Cologne(s): It's perfume for girls, and I love Quelques Fleur (one sexy smell), Marc Jacobs (fresh and gardenia), Joy by Jean Patou (smells like my mommy and reminds me of being a little girl) , and Clinique Happy (smells happy to me!).
Gold or Silver: Gold.
Hometown: Town? Funny. Try a farm outside a small town in rural SE Georgia.
Insomnia: Not usually, though lately somewhat because I just have too much on my mind right now.
Job Title: Agent (seriously)
Kids: Yes. 15 months and 8 1/2 years.
Living arrangements: in transit.... Moving from our house in Florida to our soon-to-be house in Georgia.
Most admirable trait: Kindness.
Number of sexual partners: Not so many as one might think... I went through a 5-year period of celibacy just before meeting my husband because I got tired of dealing with the hassles associated with sex. Yeah.
Overnight hospital stays: Three. When I was small (before grade school), I had to stay overnight to have some sort of bladder infection investigated. Then when Miss Baby was born, I was in 4 nights due to the c-section. Then in October of last year with Miss Baby when she had her hernia surgery.
Quote: "The stakes are too high for government to be a spectator sport." - Barbara Jordan
Religion: Christian, protestant
Siblings: One younger sister
Time I wake up: Weekdays: 6 am, Weekends: sometime around 7 or 7:30, depending on when Miss Baby wishes to rise.
Unusual talent or skill: Photographic memory
Vegetable I refuse to eat: No.
Worst habit: Binge eating. It used to be smoking, but I quit. Also picking fights with my husband, which he usually diffuses very well.
X-rays: A few. Knee, nose, teeth
Yummy foods I make: Almost anything. I'm the best cooker of pork I know. I make kick-ass barbeque. Real, Eastern NC Style and also good ole Texas Brisket. To be totally obnoxious, most of what I make is really, really good because I understand how food goes together. Additionally, I understand the notion of "less is more" and that using high-quality, but simple, ingredients leads to a great meal. In general, the only times I serve something that isn't great is because I followed a recipe against my intuition and didn't make the corrections I knew needed to be made. I know that was an obnoxious answer, but it really is the truth.
Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

Uh Oh!

This past weekend, we decided it was warm enough to swim*. So swimming we went. Incidentally, by "we", I mean Miss M.

She went in the pool and swam. The great thing about our pool (except to our insurers) is that it has a diving board. Miss M loves jumping and diving off of it. Another fun thing that has come about is Miss Baby loves to go out and watch Miss M with the swimming, and play with the kitties.

Last night, after we were done playing with the kitties, Miss Baby and I settled down to watch a diving performance. Miss M went off the diving board, and Miss Baby responded... "Uh ohhhh."

And it happened again and again. I could never get Miss Baby to clap or cheer "Yay" for Miss M's diving prowess. All she kept saying was "Uh ohhhh".

Just too damn cute for words, really. They both are!

*Our rule is that the water must be 70 degrees or more before you can swim. It was at 74 on Thursday, having been 68 the last time we checked. Oh, in March...

Broken Hearted

My heart is just about broken. What good can come to a child whose mother will say anything to fortify her position in her child's life? A mother who will make empty promises that the child believes, but which will never come true? A mother who has proven, time and again, that it's more important to be "the most important parent" than to be a good parent?

I truly despise this woman. I hate her because of what she is doing to a beautiful girl. I hate her because of how she takes advantage of everyone and refuses to take responsibility for her self and her actions. The reason I hate her most, though, is that but for the grace of God go I.

She is that awful wretch I used to be.

Those of you who pray, you pray for the little girl. Those of you who don't, then at least send her strength. She needs it.

Motivation

It's becoming increasingly hard for me to remain motivated about my current job. On the one hand, it's certainly helping pay the bills for the few more weeks that I'm here. On the other hand, however, it's really becoming apparent that my position is identified as one of those that is not going to be back-filled. The powers that be don't feel that what I'm doing justifies the cost of headcount.

And you know, that really makes me feel pretty worthless. I've done a good job here. I've created change that has led to greater efficiency. In general, the things I've done have been positive. I've done what I could with a position that has been, for lack of a nicer way to say it, beneath my background and training.

So now, I just don't feel like playing any more.

I'm moving on myself, and I shouldn't worry about these sorts of things. I know that they will certainly miss me when I'm gone. What will come to light are the number of things I've had to be doing to make up for other deficiencies.

At the end of the day, I'm hoping that I can find a job in Atlanta that will pay me well and keep me engaged. That's been my bigges problem with this place. I'll begin to care, to engage, and then the rug is pulled from under me. And I fall on my nose again.

Motivation is hard to get back once it's lost. Anyone have any thoughts on how to find it again?

You know what's the pits?

Pinkeye. Miss Baby has it. Of course, this doesn't interfere with her ordinary daily (play! play! play!) activities. It does, however, necessitate that I stay home with her and attempt to work from here. Sighs and more sighs.

Off we go again! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

What a drag it is being old...NOT!

I used to think that when I hit 26, I was going to be *so old*. I mean, that's the age that Rob C was when he started the MBA program at Georgia with me. Aged man, really. He was even starting to lose some hair! Lord help! I, at a mere 22, couldn't believe how old some of my classmates were. One was even (*gasp*) 34.

So then I turned 26 quite some time ago. My buddy and I went to see The Connells in concert at Dallas that night, and I had a blast. I did youthful things, of which I would probably be ashamed, if I could remember back that far. But I can't, because it was almost a decade ago. The only thing I remember about that night was a vivid thought of "My LAND! I'm 26! I'm OLD!!! I'm as old as Rob C!"

But I do remember my years in lawyer college as fun, exciting, and carefree in a lot of ways. In fact, until I turned 30, my life was largely like that. Then, Mr. Mac and I got together. We became engaged quickly, and I started learning how to be a parental figure to Miss M. She was 3 1/2 at the time, and she needed (and at 8 1/2 still needs!) a lot of love and affection.

Now, I'm a home-owner (or I will again be in 7 weeks). I have a toddler daughter who requires help with almost every single thing she does except playing (but she prefers to play with others to by herself).

My husband, however, is marching back to school. We were at Emory this past weekend for accepted students day. He went to the whole event on Saturday, while I marched around with Elsie the Realtor buying a too expensive house. He enjoyed himself that day, and he made several new friends. He met many people from Duke, most of whom graduated a full decade after we did.

Then that evening, we went to a party thrown by a student organization.

I must say that this group is precisely the one I would have been hanging with back in my school years. They were fun. They were laid back. They wore cool clothes. They had cool pets. They enjoyed cooking and hanging back in a relaxed atmosphere with good friends. No pretention, no worries. My kind of folks.

Only thing is that these folks glaze over when you mention your child. And your other child. They're interested that you bought a house.

"Where did you buy? Oh, I didn't know there were any condos there.... What, you bought a house-house? WOW!"

They don't get the concept of having to mow the grass, and keep house.... That's too much of a hassle. They CERTAINLY don't want to know how much I'm paying.

And it made me somewhat sad that these people, who would have been "my people" back in the day, didn't get my life any more. *I* would not have gotten "my life" back then either. I had a few married friends in law school, and one even had two daughters. I remember that she was never around for Mock Trial practice in the evenings or on Sunday mornings. And she had to be out every now and again for things at her daughter's school. She was so mature, and smart, and collected. I wanted to be her when I grew up.

Now that I am a grown up with a grown up life and responsibilities, I must admit that it's not all bad. In fact, I don't feel old at all. I feel, well, just right. At this party, I was somewhat uncomfortable. I didn't want to stay very long, and we didn't. It wasn't so much that I "felt old" - I just didn't have much in common with a lot of the folks there.

My life is... well, it's just different now. I'm glad I had fun in my 20's. Really glad. However, what I'm doing now is, on the whole, fun as well. I do enjoy my husband, my kids, my home, my friends.... I don't really miss jetting off to Europe on a last-minute deal, really, but I'm ever so glad I did that a few times.

In the end, I'm glad I lived my youth as a youthful kid who made mistakes and learned lessons. I'm glad, because I think it makes me a better person today. I paid penalties for some poor decisions. I've grown, and I can say that I'm more secure of who I am and what I want today than I ever have been. I still crack wise, and play jokes. I still listen to the rock 'n roll music. I just don't party like a rock star any more. I love hanging out with my friends. Just we add kids into the mix these days. In all, I'm a grown-up version of who I used to be. And she was a damn cool gal, who is a cool lady today. Which just rocks!

Home again... Part 8....

We bough a (nother) house. Again. This time I think it will stick. It's fabulous, in a historic district, in a great school district, near Mr. Mac's lawyer college and not horribly far for my commute downtown.

It cost us dearly.

But it's good. We'll be happy here for a long time.

Yay! :-)

APRIL FOOLS!

We bought this house, right? Turns out it was just a big April Fools Joke.... We terminated the contract after the inspector returned with a verdict of "Oh, with about $50K, you could get this house into acceptable condition. Do NOT buy this house." Termites, flooding AND serious electrical issues were enough for me to exercise my right to terminate.

Back at it. Dang.