Saying Goodbye

I've been a nomad for all of my adult life. The longest I've lived in a single city is here, in Tampa, for five years. The longest I've lived in any particular dwelling is in the home I'm in the process of leaving. Other than that, I've moved from apartment to apartment; city to city. Quite regularly.

So I've become adept at saying goodbye. I have friends strewn all over the United States, and around the world. Friends from college, grad school, law school, DC and now here. I will make new friends in Atlanta, and I will rejoin old ones.

So how do I feel about saying 'goodbye' to the place where, for lack of a better word, I grew up. Where I went from being a free-roaming single 20-something to an adult, married with kids and a mortgage, and driving a minivan. (!!!) I don't know.

On the one hand, Tampa has brought me a lot. I have matured. I have mellowed. I have gotten a handle on my depression. Mostly.

But on the other.... I've suffered through a hideous job situation. I've dealt with it, and a lot of the reasons behind it are from either my husband's unstable work situation or my own inertia. I looked, casually, for other jobs, but never pulled it together to find one. In the end, it became easier to stay, especially once I realized I had an opportunity to leave this city for good.

And therein lies the other problem - Tampa has never been 'home' or anything approaching it. I've never indoctrinated myself into a community here. I never found 'my people'. My neighbors are plenty nice, and they were great to have as neighbors. But 'friends'? I have very, very few.

I don't know if it's me, or if it's just the fact that I've felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole here. I think we bought in the wrong community, and I know I worked at the wrong job for too long. But I still don't know if things would have been any different had we located to South Tampa.

Now we're moving to a place I've wanted to live my entire life. As long as I can remember, I've been in love with the old Druid Hills neighborhood, with its bungalows and 40's-style ranches. And big trees, quiet yards, peaceful parks.... And good schools. The residents, also, are very liberal, and it's a nice enclave of 'blue' in the sea of red that is Georgia.

And I do hope that I can make things work. That I can overcome my self-conscious nature, and get out of my shell a little better. I hope that I can find people I can relate to - working moms and professionals. Folks who are genuinely committed to their kids, but who also recognize that their kids need to be a major PART of life, not a person's entire life.

So I bid Tampa 'goodbye' tomorrow. Probably a little after noon. And I think it's for the better.