Dear Male Colleagues,

Two matters have been on my mind lately. You know who you are (even if you wouldn't ever read this blog because you fear the boss boss coming down on you for violating an internets policy).
First, I realize that pockets are very nifty creations, and that by placing all your spare change AND keys in them, you're able to carry everything you ever need in them (except a few things) with you all day long. And I suppose you may think it's very handy that I can hear you coming from around the corner and 20 feet away. However, did you ever stop to consider that each time others hear "chink-chink-chink" of you coming, they stop what they're doing and become annoyed? And less productive?
Second, I am very empathetic to the crises that arise from one's fingernails being overly long. Before you know it, you're clanking away on the keyboard and generally making rattling noises that can also be very distracting. However, have you ever stopped to think about the annoying noise made by the crush of fingernail clippers being used, in the cubicle next door? That it may be even more distracting than clacking fingernails? It is. Trust me.
These are but two small matters to you, I'm sure. However, to others, they are ways you intrude into our personal space on a daily basis. And I don't always like other people in my private space. Especially someone I didn't invite.
Thank you,
DMD
p.s. In the event that you, my boss' assistant, are reading this - I CAN hear when you are playing games on your computer or watching The Price is Right each time my boss steps away from her office. I don't have time to do this, often because I'm trying to find things you were supposed to file for me. Maybe we could split the difference?